...waste

Regret is a wasted emotion. It’s over! The past is past, and behind me. It makes no sense to beat a dead horse, so I limit the futile, “You should have’s,” “Why didn’t you’s,” and resolve to make better plans for the future.

“What did you learn this time?” has become one of my favorite retrospectives. It minimizes the blame, yet gets the point across. I’ve used it for years to maximize the teaching moments with my children and unfortunately, as they mature, those words are coming back to haunt me.

To piquecritique@spin.out
Today, in the district-wide vocal competition, I snuck in late and sidled up next to the wall with the standing room only crowd. I listened intently as the daughter’s group hit the high note and I slumped against the wall in relief.
I was startled to see the lights go out on the left side of the room. Then I felt my back against the light switch, so acting on auto-reflex, I slid back up the wall, hoping to rectify my mistake. The lights on the other side of the room went out too.
In the dark, the bass and tenor section squeaked in shock, the altos missed their cue and the sopranos hit another high note—the wrong one. One hundred different shades of red, T.

I’ve heard “What did you learn?” so often that I’ve decided to write down what I’ve learned (because I’m sure to forget between episodes). That will teach them—when there are fifty books of remonstrations[1] that the children get to reread when they are old.

To: realmom@time.out
Children who are innocent little mynah birds at two, should not be encouraged, because at thirteen it gets old. My words from their mouths, yuck! T.

The purpose in this driven life is not to stop, but find a way to continue living the adventure with less regret and recrimination. I don’t expect much improvement, but my ultimate goal is less blow ups, flip outs and derailments. When I can’t level out the ride, I’m going to learn to enjoy the swoops and spins. In the spirit of acceptance, I’ll embrace the new calming philosophy of, “Arms and legs in and have a nice ride.”

Reality Bite: This book has no purpose and no redeeming social value! And if there is humor in it—that too is totally accidental!

[1] Forceful arguments… and they all are.